Sometimes we have to begin — again.
I am always amazed when we think we are doing something because WE decided it was a good idea, then doubt creeps in. We wonder if we made a mistake. We wander into uncharted territory feeling lost. Then God shows up and says, “I am the one who led you here.”
Somewhere along the way our faith in God leading us, turned into faith in ourselves to get everything right. And when that turns ugly, we realize we do not know as much as we thought.
The good news is we do not have to have all the right answers. But, we do have to trust.
God’s ways are always higher than ours, and His thoughts are always good. He works everything out for His purpose in our lives, and His purpose on this earth. He just rarely does it how or when we expected.
I took about three months off of blogging. I became fainthearted long before that. All kinds of wrong thoughts creeped in, and I almost did not start again.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is begin.
The next hardest thing to do is begin again. Beginning again is hard when you do not really know why you are doing it to begin with. The reasons we begin are not always the same reasons we keep going. Sometimes our “why” gets lost along the way. Sometimes, it get redefined. Sometimes, it needs refining.
Sometimes when we are afraid to keep going, we have to go back to the beginning and remember why we started. I went back to the beginning of this blog — the very first blogpost I published — to find my “why” when it was still pure and untainted by temptations to make my name great. That happens sometimes.
The title of my first blogpost is “What if?” which is basically me asking, “What if I fail?” when I struggled with starting. I re-read the post, and it became clear to me why I began and why I needed to begin again. What if this really is not all about me?
“I have to ask… What if the words that flow from my heart are my gifts to give, and I stay mute? What if this part of what I am supposed to contribute to my world, and I hold back? What if God wants to use my life lived-out-loud to bring encouragement to others, and I keep silent? What if my struggles and what I have learned through them will help someone through theirs, and I keep them hidden? What if the grace I have received is not intended to keep for myself, and I don’t share?
If I do not try, I’ve failed already…
What if God will take it to the ends of the world, and use it…for His glory?” (Original Post: October 2011)
I do believe, though our “how” and “what” may be different, our “why” has common center.
Last week I wrote on the Allume blog about our common purpose. It is also a fire that burns inside me, and what I believe is the reason Christians are left on earth after we are saved. We are Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us to those who have yet to know His love…
“His love has the first and last word in everything we do…Our firm decision is to work from this focused center. One man died for everyone.” (2 Cor 5:14 MSG)
We live to make Him known.
With renewed passion, a clear, sharp focus, and more deeply established “why”, I have begun again.
QUESTION: Why do you think it is hard to begin, or begin again?